Little Crumby Poems. Part 1

Tuesday, October 25, 2011.

These crumby little poems came out close to being rotten. Some do not rhyme well. You might find a few that are half decent. If your interested in buying one, they are only and arm and a leg on sale each .

( Spruce )

I had a duck named Spruce,

who was constantly traveling loose,

( I bought the duck on sale at a discount, )

that constantly liked to goose,

everyone up their caboose.

( I love my goose even though he is a gross little critter. )

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( Jane )

Jane never explained,

( Jane likes salami sandwiches with tarter sauce )

( I know this because she will strip down to her drawers

for one of my salami, or meat ball sandwiches.)

why she enjoys cracking my skull ,

( Jane was darling. )

and some of my darling brains,

( Jane was a cleaner for the mob. )

( Jane was a contract killer.)

with my own walking cane.

( Jane was exceedingly mean for a bionic monster punk , but I was crazy in love with her.)

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( Fox Chicken )

Gray Fox needs fried chicken,

( Fox drives us crazy until we cook chicken.)

and if he does not get it,

he nibbles, , and bites on my wife's

feet she's kicking,

( Fox packed his bags,and flew to Sweden . )

( He contacted his attorney , and filed a legal action for chicken. )

( Now we are required by law to cook our cat chicken any time he meows. )

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( Funky Chicken )

My family loves chicken,

to cook it, or to dance with it, or to do the Fox Trot with it too,

and while watching television re runs.

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( Jam Ba lam )

Three legged,

one legged,

chipmunk ed skunk,

along the mump a jump stump,

cram in it up a moose's rump.

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( Mammy wham )

My mammy wham,

pumped jam in my sandwich spam.

And then I spread peanut butter,

on my strawberry jam.

( This poem is only a small fortune on sale )

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( Chocolate Chips )

Chocolate chips,

have sweetened my hips,

So I dunk um real good in milk,

and they taste as sweet as silk.

And when they are soft,

They melt in my mouth,

until I swallow them whole ,

just like they were gold.

( The secret to a delicious chocolate chip cookie

is to admire it, take it's picture, and nominate

it for a political position, but be sure that you account for

all campaign funds otherwise you could

spend time behind bars )

( This poem is (thirty nine thousand dollars on sale )

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( Pumpkin Eater )

My pumpkin eater,

is my friend Peter.

Little by little,

he has turned sweeter,

as he shines his shoes,

and sings the blues.

( However Peter is a cheater.

Sarah does not deserve him

as her husband. They own a

filling station, and sell

diesel fuel. Be sure and never

put diesel in your regular tank which

is meant only for unleaded gas, otherwise

you will be a sorry butt head. )

( This poem is only nine dollars, and thirty nine cents.

With tax included it is thirty nine thousand dollars on sale.)

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( Rat Fink Bob )

Rat fink Bob,

snores like a slob,

so over I turn,

until my drawers are not firm ,

because rat fink Bob,

want find a job,

and ain't loo kin for one,

as long as he can crack,

my rump a chum rump,

like it's ice cream and cake,

or a Salisbury steak.

( I hope you liked this beautiful heart warming

poem. If you would like to buy it

you can purchase it at Stars Poem Shop.

All poems are on sale for only thirty nine thousand

dollars each. )

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( Woman love )

My woman I love,

is in her tub I scrub,

her till she's very wet,

and I've worked up a sweat,

to dive in and get,

some sweet , and yummy woman love,

in our love a dub tub.

( This poem almost sounds kind of nasty.

But there is nothing wrong with a naked woman

being wet in a bath tub. My wife Joann gets wet in

our bath tub when she is soaking in it

naked, but please do not tell anyone because

this is personal classified subject matter that costs

only thirty nine thousand dollars on sale )

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( Jumbo Hot Dogs )

Yummy yum dumb,

they taste great in my tummy yum yum,

as I drizzle relish, cat sup, mustard,

and blasts of old cane syrup to make my rear end fat,

and as dad gone as large as a pork ed pig you can slap.

Oh them hot dogs taste so Devinne,

that I could drink some lemon lime wine,

as I turn into a pup , with a foot long and a hunting,

for a sweet winch for bum pin, that's as rich and is ready to stitch,

what needs fixing up,

with a dog ( wiener ) all stiff.

Yep ! my feast is so good,

til I split my torn drawers,

and embarrass my ex women,

for the rest of their lives,

like my first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth wives,

that cooked me a many a good beans with so much of their wedding rice.

( Darn nel Bucket worth was married many times, but he was a cheating low life

stinking whelped dog . His six former sister in laws castrated his ass raw. He lost face

and hung himself above his commode, and when his body rotted, his ex wives flushed his

remains down a sewer. He was a very decent man until he got involved with marijuana.)

God Bless Everyone.