The Holiday Vampire

Once upon a time a kindly soul, and a somewhat friendly young man decided he should find a wonderful live green tree to be decorated by himself and his mother.

He never really grew up, however he loved the holiday season when everything outside was so white with snow, and magnificent.

Jasper was his name. Jasper was a good kid, and never got in trouble, and always attended school, but passed on condition four times in the second,third, fifth, and eighth grade because he never had any interest in education. He hated to crack books. However he looked forward to Santa Claus, and the rain deer, and all the trimmings of Thanksgiving turkeys, and he loved to cook turkey legs with oozing yummy gravy.

He somehow graduated high school and got a job at the local chicken farm. It was the worst job on earth, and he hated like horrible hell plucking chicken feathers off of headless chickens for five dollars and hour.

It was Saturday evening when Jasper slept late. When he decided to take a stroll in the woods nearby it was practically dark, but the wonderful white snow was so much inviting , and fun to walk on with his fancy rubber boots.

Jasper found another tree. It looked sort of skimpy ,but with lights and things he felt it would do just fine so he chopped the tree down , then low and behold , right before his eyes he saw a very beautiful girl that looked absolutely fantastic

This just did not make much since to Jasper. What in the living world is a girl doing out in the cold, white snow almost in the dark of the night. It was getting late.

Jasper was just a friendly simple minded boy. He never meant anyone any harm , yet for some unknown reason Jasper was beginning to feel unwell. His stomach was giving him a queasy feeling so he kind of felt like just leaving the tree in the beautiful white forest, and turned away from it , and headed home.

Jasper even decided it might be best to run home before it got too dark so he started running as fast as he could, as his heart pounded like a hammer in his chest.

But something awful happened to Jasper. Something very heavy landed on his back ,and when he turned around, he felt the beautiful woman right on top of him. Jasper was scared to death, but he noticed the wonderful glowing smile she had and how loving she looked just a moment before she opened her mouth, and revealed two long glistening white pearly fangs.

Jasper suddenly realized his life was over. The good part was that he would no longer have to pluck chickens that were either headless, or had their necks rung.

The bad part was that he had seen enough horror movies to know darn well that he was going to lose a substantial amount of blood , he did. The lovely girl bit Jasper, and slowly but surely she sunk her fangs deep into the side of his throat and sucked a lot of blood from his neck.

She did not kill Jasper. She asked him an important question. She said, " Jasper my dear love. Your going to die ,or become the living dead. Make your choice, and let me know in a second or two if I should slaughter your sorry worthless ignorant ass , or simply allow you to be my scoundrel of the nights."

Jasper realized quickly that the woman had an attitude and she should not have used the word ass because Jasper was not a vulgar boy , but he did want to live so he decided to tell her that he did not mind losing only and extra pint of his blood.

Jasper's mama was worried about him. She opened the front door to see if she could see him somewhere. Then she saw him coming home with his tree. Jasper decided that he was going to bring the little tree home so he would not have to walk in the forest anymore.

Depressed he was and awfully tired. He laid the little tree down in the living room and told his mother that he was going to bed. She kissed him goodnight and noticed the two marks on the side of his neck. She told her son not to pick on those mosquito bites because they might get infected. Jasper kissed his mama and went to bed.

Now what the beautiful vampire girl did not know was that Jasper had a sword collection.He never had the time to display his Ninja swords that he purchased at a substantial savings. He kept them under his bed so that he could play with them and hold them and enjoy them while he would lie in bed relaxing while he watched television.

Jasper closed his eyes and went fast asleep, but a strange cold chill woke him up. Why Lord in Heaven it was that blood sucking fiend again. She just would not leave well enough alone. She opened the window of his bedroom with her vampire magic and kind of floated right on top of Jasper.

Jasper got angry. He reached under his bed and drew his shortest ninja sword and drove the razor sharp blade of it right through the woman's heart. It just slid in like butter into her nasty wicked black heart.

Then he quickly jumped out of bed and sliced her head clean off of her torso with his long ninja combat sword, and then shoved a wooden training sword deep into her heart as well.

With two swords in her heart and a missing head, she was pretty much done and finished. Her blood sucking nights were over.

Suddenly the beautiful lady turned to bones first and then to dust before his eyes.

The good thing was that Jasper loved Christmas and he was not going to let anything spoil the holiday season for him and his mother. So Jasper left his room and went into the kitchen to fix his mother some hot cocoa. As for Jasper, he did not become the living dead because he killed the vampire that fanged him. He learned all about that kind of stuff by watching television. However he still kept that unpleasant chicken farm job, but he decided he would start looking elsewhere for gainful employment while he plucked chickens.

God Bless You.